Body Dysmorphia and the Lies We're Told to Swallow
Issue No. 6: Food, Nutrition, and Access in Our Communities
Words - Betty & Cuddie
Close your eyes and imagine your reflection in a full-length mirror. What do you see?
If you’re like us, you probably see something distorted. A few of your features might stand out more than others, and it’s usually the ones you’re most critical of. What you’re seeing isn’t objective, and it’s distorting your image of not only your own body, but the bodies of people around you.
Close your eyes and think back on the things you’ve said about your body to yourself and to others.
We’ve said things like, “If I hadn’t eaten all of that bad food, my face wouldn’t be breaking out,” and, “If I wasn’t so lazy, I wouldn’t be shopping for a bigger size of jeans,” and, “If I had stuck to that diet, I wouldn’t feel so ashamed of how I look.” We’ve started passing judgement on ourselves not only for the way that we look, but also on what it says about who we are, our character. Perhaps this sounds familiar to you.
From the moment we’re born, we’re getting messages about which bodies are good and which are bad, and which foods help create those good and bad bodies. At birth, people decide whether or not we’re healthy, and by extension “good.” As soon as we’re eating, people have opinions about what we’re being fed. Homemade, store-bought, fresh, canned, organic, processed, traditional, modern. These terms all get used to describe our food as good or bad, and that distinction seems to be based on a lot more than nutritional value.
Scientists are beginning to understand how deeply connected weight and body shape are to genetics, yet still we’re told that “you are what you eat.” They insist that if we eat good food and if we are disciplined and if we are smart enough, we can have the “perfect” body, whatever the hell that is, despite our genes.
We start to visualize people’s diets as their bodies: the celery and the juice cleanses in the long legs and flat stomachs; the cake and french fries in our hips and our thighs, no matter that apples and melons and pears are all round and curvy too. There is food you should feel guilty about, and food you should feel self-righteous about. There is good and bad, right and wrong, and nothing in between.
The constant messaging that we should all want to be skinny and petite makes it easy to be unhappy with our bodies and develop unhealthy eating habits. These eating habits are often paired with an unhealthy self-image that can lead to body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is a mental health disorder that warps the way you view your appearance and makes you focus on one or more small perceived flaw.
We think that this warping effect is just between us and the mirror, but the problem has always been bigger than that. If we see and judge ourselves as lazy, bad, or stupid for not being able to change the shape and size of our bodies, it’s no surprise that we do the same thing to other people. After all, we’ve been given dozens of examples of villains and bullies and fools who are fat in our children’s movies and Saturday morning cartoons. Of course we connect these negative characteristics to our real world companions.
From there, it’s no surprise that we don’t blink when the woman on our team who has been gaining weight doesn’t get the promotion, or when we find out she’s been earning less all along. Did you know, as many studies have cited, that she’s also probably working longer hours than the average person on her team? While firing someone for their race became illegal years ago, firing someone for their weight has been affirmed by the U.S. Supreme Court as fair game. In fact, hospitals and hotels have won in court for explicitly firing people for gaining weight. The highest legal authority in the country has put weight gain in the same moral realm as other fireable offenses, like stealing or smashing the office photocopier, Hulk-style.
Not only do we have to make sure we have something on the table for dinner, but we have to also place a moral value on that meal and worry about how it might impact our career. It’s exhausting.
We’re not going to tell you that cutting back on certain types of fat, such as saturated or trans fats, and limiting processed foods won’t help you, because it will. Consuming a lot of salt can increase your blood pressure and the risk for heart issues and saturated and trans fats can raise cholesterol levels and increase the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease.
But we’re also not going to tell you that your favorite family recipe, ice cream, or chocolate cake are bad, because they aren’t. Those favorite foods are favorites for a reason: they’re delicious, or nostalgic, or they’re part of who you are and where you came from. They can bring you joy, or connect you to other people and carry on a tradition. Loving those foods and enjoying them doesn’t have to come with guilt, shame, or self-loathing; but we know turning off the voices in your head that lead you to those feelings isn’t easy.
We’re not going to tell you to eat one way all the time. We don’t live in a kale or cake kind of world. We are allowed to have both, or neither. Our bodies are not wrong for what they look like, what cravings we have, if we decide to exercise more or not. Make choices that work for you. Use the information available to you and listen to your body. Know that your worth as a human has nothing to do with the food you choose to eat. Know that you don’t have to believe everything you’ve been taught about your body and food, and maybe you don’t need to believe the mirror either.
