As Her Daughter

Issue No. 6: Food, Nutrition, and Access in Our Communities
Words - Noura Amr
Illustration - Joy Velasco

As my mother’s daughter, it’s nearly impossible for me to separate my relationship with food from her influence over it. My appreciation of herbs and spices, the inner peace I get from a well-stocked market, making sport out of trying new fruits and vegetables—I can directly attribute these things to seeing the joy they brought her.

Growing up, I always knew my mom to spend a good majority of her time working and cooking for my two siblings and me. When asked about food, though, my mom doesn’t have much to say, as though it’s an afterthought.

What’s your earliest memory of food? 

I didn’t used to like food. I didn’t like fish, I guess I mighta been picky. I hated zucchini, I only liked [green] beans and molokhia. And falafel, I liked falafel.

I’ll never forget seeing the shock and smiles of delivery people or our maintenance guy who raved about mom and loved coming to our house, knowing they’d be indulged. Because the truth is, no one ever entered her home, whether to help her move, set up her cable or deliver furniture, without being offered water, tea, a cookie, slice of cake or whatever we had on hand. It’s not optional to be in her presence and have the possibility of your hunger go unnoticed. To not be taken care of, or told in so few words that you are welcomed here.

I’ve inherited this reflexive hospitality, but I also let it be known when I am angry. When I am tired. When I am sad, hurt or confused. I can be indignant and enraged...like many of my peers, I have been free in my life to admit to feeling things that my parents, especially my mother, could never afford to. 

While we may show up to the world differently, at the end of the day, I find some of my most peaceful moments of solace seeking new ways to create with food. Just like she does.

When do you remember enjoying cooking and eating food?

Probably after I got married, I started practicing more and having more opportunity to be creative and look up recipes, cook for my kids… I cooked for my then husband...made him rice-a-roni from the box, and he liked it so much, he thought I was an incredible cook. So…one time he saw the box, and he felt like he was cheated, he got so upset. He said, “I thought you made that from scratch!”...but it’s not like it’d be that hard to make from scratch anyway.

How do you think about food now?

Well… food is something I have to watch out for now. *laughs* 

I mean I don’t feel deprived, but...I feel like I’m creative enough that I can make healthy food tasty, so I feel very fortunate about that. 

When did you start to feel pride as a doctor? 

I’ve always felt...It’s not pride, it’s more like...I’ve always liked what I do. I felt very fortunate, in doing something I wasn’t forced to do, that I enjoyed. It was hard work, but liking it made it very tolerable. I always feel that I’m doing something good. But I’ve never felt like I’m this amazing life-saving person - I’ve always felt in fact the opposite, like you’re often humble because you realize right away that you can’t save everybody and you can’t do miracles… You’re pretty limited. Ya3ni, you do the protocols and you do the things you were taught and you try to get creative to treat patients but ultimately you’re not the last word in what happens. But you always have to do your best.

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Mama’s Ta'ameya (Egyptian Falafel)

• 1.5 cups dried (smaller) fava beans, soaked overnight (up to 2 days, til plump)

• 1 bunch parsley 

• 1 bunch dill 

• 1 onion

• 5 cloves garlic

• 1/2 bunch fresh coriander

• 1 Egyptian leek (similar to chives, leeks can be used too), green part only

• Salt and pepper to taste

Grind the fava beans just slightly in the food processor first, then add remaining ingredients and blend all together until it’s a fine, almost grainy dough mixture.

Only when you’re ready to fry them up, add a dash of baking powder to the mixture you’re using (this freezes well if you can’t use the full mixture right away) and form it into small round patties.

Optional: coat with sesame seeds before frying.

Get some oil hot (doesn’t have to be a deep fry), and fry up the patties - fry one side until it browns, then flip and brown the other side .