Yes No Thank You Goodbye, by Sam Klegerman
Words + Photography by Sam Klegerman
For the past year, photography went from being a commercial paycheck to a therapeutic space for me to explore. I recall having such a stern way of looking at photography, that breaking my own seal was something in itself that I knew was going to take time. Since the age of thirteen, I have been working for fashion clients and producing content for social media obsessed brands from all over the world. I loved the idea of creating visual facades for brands to latch onto. I was flattered that brands were trusting me at such a young age to create a space that was so personal for them to market off of. From working side by side with schooling, I decided to take my passion and make it concrete.
In 2020, I graduated from Parsons The New School and earned a BFA in Photography. While studying in the four year system, I was challenged left and right to create work that was beyond my comfort zone and to test my own limits. At first, I found this push to be aggravating and at times annoying. My teachers weren’t fans of the commercial work I was crafting and labeled me as the “one dimensional picture maker.” This frustrated me because I felt the levels my images expressed but to the audience, my work was as thin as a piece of paper. It wasn’t until my final year where I was expected to produce a senior thesis that would act as the main artist statement to our schooling. I went back and forth for months thinking of things I could photograph and the ways I could portray this facade I was so natural at creating. I sat down with my thesis professor and she helped me untangle my inner demons and thoughts about photography. She seemed frustrated with my answers and asked me to put photography aside and speak about who I was. I felt caught off guard because the way I was speaking about photography, I assumed she knew “who I was.” I went on to explain my identity and how I view myself in this world. The conversation kept evolving and we spoke about everything until I found myself bawling my eyes out. I explained with a shaky voice how at home my dad and I were caring for my mother with Early- Onset Alzheimer’s. This moment shocked my teacher but allowed her to have a whole new outlook. She looked me in the eye and told me this is what I had to do. And as much as I didn’t want to feel this pain and sadness that this had created in my life, I had to begin photographing it. I knew she was right and after many tears and weepy phone calls to my mentors, I started to see clearly.
From there I began planning trips home, mentally choreographing the images I wanted to showcase, and thinking about where this project belonged in the world. I recall asking myself numerous questions over and over and constantly ending with, “Is this within my brand to do?” I felt so guilty for making such an authentic narrative due to all the facades and walls I put up. But for the first time, I began to see myself in the images. I began to understand my identity as a non-binary individual and how caring for my mother helped shaped that. It felt as if I was becoming a part of her through this creative process. I went from photographing vibrant pop commercials to a diaristic narrative that was authentic and bold. The picture making became a part of my grieving and has since influenced how I view my own creative atmosphere.
My project, Yes No Thank You Goodbye, exists as a window into the world of lost time and separation while caring for a loved one with Early-Onset Alzheimer’s. After crafting the images for over a year, I decided to place them in a book where I was able to educate and communicate the matter for the world to see. While reflecting on my privilege throughout this project I decided to donate 100% of profits from Yes No Thank You Goodbye to UsAgainst Alzheimer’s.
UsAgainst Alzheimer’s helps POC individuals and families receive the medical attention, financial help, and supplies they need to care for a loved one with either Alzheimer’s or Dementia. Giving everyone the access and ability to care for their loved ones with the necessary tools.
